My Story Part 4

In memory of Lieutenant Carr P. Collins IV

In the Spring of 2004, I came home for the first time in over a year.  17 years old.  Damaged.  Lost.  I existed.  Not far into sobriety, I honestly had no intention of staying clean.  The drug life provided more comfort and peace of mind to me than the focused, unfamiliar, ‘meaningful’ life that didn’t even seem possible or real.

I took my first steps to stay clean that spring.  My first sponsor was a few years older than me, with considerably more time being clean than I had.  At the time, I struggled to connect with anyone, to trust anyone, to let anyone in under any circumstances, but I was willing to listen and try.  My sponsor was hard headed and stubborn too, so she wasn’t going to give up on me that easily.  I looked up to her, and I looked up to her close friend.  They didn’t seem like everyone else at the meetings.  There journeys seemed deeper, darker.  They were edgy.  They were the ones that I knew wouldn’t push me when I didn’t need to be pushed.  That wouldn’t ask for more than I was willing to give.  That wouldn’t judge me for everything else I had been through.  That didn’t let everyone in.  That had walls just like me.  They showed me that I wouldn’t have to change who I was in order to get sober, and that it was possible to overcome, rebuild, and keep going.  Thank you for showing me what the other side could be like.

I wrote this post in memory of Lieutenant Carr P. Collins IV, a true warrior with a kind heart and and incredible life.

“…During his seven year naval career, he was selected to join the elite Special Operations Explosive Ordinance Division (EOD).  He served as Operations Officer aboard USS Salvor setting a world record for the deepest open ocean salvage recovering a helicopter from 17,251 feet; led U.S Secret Service TSD teams in response to assassination threats against a former U.S. President, stood as honors officer of the deck aboard USS Arizona during the President’s visit for the 50th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, and in his final year led the MK-6 “Killer Dolphins” unit in operations against North Korea as early as 1994…”

Exerpt from Dallas Morning News Obituaries Sept. 6, 2017

I went off the grid twice after meeting my sponsor and Carr 13 years ago, one time for bad, one time for good.  The second time being when I completely started my life over.  Last year, after discovering Carr’s blog, I reached out to him.

Carr, thank you for your kind words over the holidays.  You are an inspiration in recovery, in fitness, and in your service to our great country.  Thank you for sharing your experiences and for being true to yourself.  – Amanda

The Wounded Warrior Project puts on several races throughout the year.  Running in these events is a great way to give back to and support those that serve out great country. Please consider signing up for an event.

To find out more about the Wounded Warrior Project Click Here.

To read more about Lieutenant Carr P. Collins and his amazing life Click Here.  This is a link to his blog where you will find the books he has written along with years of blog posts.

Thanks for reading.




  1. My son knew Carr and when he came to Dallas he always visited in person with Carr and other contact via email etc. Then one day the contact stopped and my son read on CarrFitness that Carr had been injured. The next thing we know we are seeing an obituary. What happened to this person he was so kind and caring and so very healthy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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